By the hue of the sky and the chime of the off-licence door-bell, it must be that time of year again: The Leaving Cert.

I would love to impart some sage words of advice to you youngsters not reading this, fleshed out with a combination of nostalgia and a few keen insights unleashed with age; perhaps a wise quote thrown in for good tradition.

Truth is, I just wanted to say the word photosynthesis; it’s one of my favourite words of all time. It might even make the top 5. Up there with zupy (Polish for soup), possibly. Like most topics contained in my Leaving Cert exams (complex numbers, Peig, lifecycle of the liver fluke, oxbow lakes, Irish), I’ve never had to apply it to life, so I’m forced to engineer opportunities to slip in a few favourites here and there to impress my peers. Or rely on it to get me out of a few hairy corners, or dig me into a deeper hole. 

Take that bloke I was mad…