Monday musings about the option to live childfree

A consistently great writer poses some essential questions we don’t hear asked often enough

Different Shores

A great post by Jess at My Path To Mommyhood really made me think today.

She talks in part about the kind of comments you receive when you’ve been trying to build a family for a long time without success. In terms of sensitivity levels, discussing options with someone in this position is as volatile a minefield as offering well-meaning advice to someone with a terminal illness. There’s a good reason the Internet is full of Top Ten Things not to say to people struggling to have children.

But living childfree is the one option that no platitude-bearer or advice-giver dares to mention, even if it’s clear that the person is suffering mentally and physically, and might be thinking about exiting the rabbit-hole of infertility treatment or quitting the interminable adoption process. I suppose others who are also stuck in limbo want to project their own fears and longings onto you and can’t countenance someone else…

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2 thoughts on “Monday musings about the option to live childfree

  1. I’ve been trying to get these questioned answered with nearly a thousand blog posts, but I guess I must not be breaking through…

    As I mentioned with the comment on Different Shores, there’s still more work to be done…

    “How interesting that this topic is still being discussed as a ‘Great Unmentionable’ — particularly as I sit on the eve of my 10 year anniversary of first writing about this topic. I can’t be 100% sure but I can safely say with 98.9% certainty this blog post … the first from our once Silent Sorority was the first ever written on the topic: http://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/
    I don’t know whether to be stunned at how little progress has been made or more determined to amp up the volume. Perhaps a little of both. Thank you, all, for continuing to acknowledge and discuss this…”

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