In response to intractable listlessness: A request for lists for the great list of lists

Posted on January 14, 2017 by Department of Speculation

Dedicated to listophile and all round daycint spud, Tric over at My Thoughts On a Page

So far I have..

Things I’d like to be able to do if ability was not a barrier

Things I’d like to able to do if suspension of disbelief was possible

Things I think I can do reasonably OK

People whose citizenship I’d revoke for being so annoying (in my town)

2017 transgressions I committed that increases my changes of going to hell

Ireland’s sacred cows part 33

Inanimate objects I am rather hostile towards

Things on which I experience only intense indifference about

Songs that scared the shite out of me as a nipper and still do

Words that make me wince

Desert Island swear words

All suggestions welcome. Nay, implored. No, actually, essential.

Thank you (and you also down the back). You’re both lovely.

21 thoughts on “In response to intractable listlessness: A request for lists for the great list of lists”

tric on January 14, 2017 at 3:51 pm said:

Lists? You want me to give you suggestions for lists? Feckin lists?
How about, ‘lists that have not yet appeared on the internet?’ or ‘Lists anyone gives a feck about?’ or ‘the most annoying lists, listed by someone who now believes they are an authority, and who really knows feck all’
Or you could have my, ‘drunken list’ which went down a storm as it turns out, because the reality is almost everyone in the world, bar me, loves lists!

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- tric on January 14, 2017 at 3:53 pm said:
  
  Mind you I would like to see your list, ‘Ireland’s sacred cows part 33’ or ‘inanimate objects I am rather hostile towards’
  
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  - Department of Speculation on January 14, 2017 at 5:14 pm said:
    
    Consider it a work in progress, and a linky of course.
- Department of Speculation on January 14, 2017 at 5:14 pm said:
  
  Oh tric, the very woman. I meant to dedicate this post to you. How remiss of me to neglect to do so. Rectified now. That’s an inspiring list you provided there. It’s almost a Top 5 in itself. Any chance of one more to complete it? *Mutley wheeze|*
  
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  - tric on January 14, 2017 at 5:28 pm said:
    
    I return a Dasterdly ‘rrggrrhhhhrrggr’ to your Mutley wheeze. (Not sure how you spell Dasterdly’s whinging)
    The ultimate mischief, to dedicate a list post to me! Thank you, I think not.
Muuka on January 15, 2017 at 9:50 am said:

Do make them all linkys when you’re done. 😉

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- Department of Speculation on January 15, 2017 at 4:45 pm said:
  
  Your wish shall be granted 🙂
  
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The Antipodean Blatherer on January 16, 2017 at 11:33 am said:

I am suspending all disbelief, immediately and henceforth, and consequently find myself looking forward to reading “Inanimate objects I am rather hostile towards” and (of course) particularly to “Words that Make Me Wince.” (Don’t get me started!) I’m especially on the edge of my seat to read what I believe will be a heartfelt and moving piece, “Things On Which I Experience Only Intense Indifference About.”

PS what are linkys? Is that Irish for “links”? I’m hoping linkys are somehow like Slinkys, because they would be fun to add to your post.

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- Department of Speculation on February 18, 2017 at 5:21 pm said:
  
  How did I miss this before? If only to trade words that make us wince with you shall I get on with it at once! Though I’m kinda hungry so delete that premature exclamation mark. Exclamation marks – the most untrustworthy of the punctuation marks, wouldn’t you say?
  
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  - The Antipodean Blatherer on February 22, 2017 at 11:41 am said:
    
    Firstly, who understands how WordPress works? I only just noticed that you’d replied to my comment and 4 days have gone by since you did, here in Australia. (possibly less in Ireland.) Secondly, I’m impressed at your attention to detail, as evidenced by your request for the removal of the exclamation mark, so as to soften ever-so-slightly the immediacy of “at once.” Thirdly, I must admit that I do like a good exclamation mark! Is it the fault of the exclamation mark that people scatter them around willy-nilly and end up negating their effect in a kind of boy-who-cried-wolf way??!!! The only thing worse is when they USE ALL CAPS TO MAKE A POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  - Department of Speculation on March 10, 2017 at 9:58 am said:
    
    How in good fuck did I miss this again? *please insert font size 70 exclamation mark here* I still don’t trust exclamation marks. Too often I am forced to fix them with my narrowing eye, and wondering if they’re messing with me, covering up someone’s passive aggression, or just lightening their load. But after reading your comment, I think that maybe, just maybe, you could help me trust them again. Thank you.
  - The Antipodean Blatherer on March 11, 2017 at 11:50 am said:
    
    WordPress is in a different dimension of time and space. I came home drunkenly last night (from a Martha Wainwright concert), lay down on the bed, and on my phone, checked WordPress and read multiple new comments from you. I laughed out loud at them, of course, but the thought of trying to type out a reply, on a teeny little touchscreen keyboard, in that state, was more than I could manage, thus the delayed response. (Probably a good thing, too, as it turns out I sprained or dislocated my thumb when I fell over at the concert, so shouldn’t be typing at all!)
    
    Then this morning, on my phone, WordPress had a little red “10” symbol meaning 10 new notifications. How exciting! So I checked, but they were all the ones from last night including your comments. Which were great to see again, of course, but it was confusing as to why WordPress was notifying me about them when I’d read them the night before on that very same device.
    
    *Note: I tried to restrain my use of exclamation marks in the story above. I was very tempted to use one after “Martha Wainwright concert” but resisted.
  - The Antipodean Blatherer on March 11, 2017 at 11:53 am said:
    
    PS it doesn’t bother me anyway, because it means that after I post a comment on your blog, I can look forward to suddenly out of the blue 3 weeks later getting a comment from you that seems totally out of context until I remind myself what I wrote 3 weeks ago. There’s nothing like carrying on a totally-out-of-context conversation to enliven the spirits.
weebluebirdie on January 16, 2017 at 1:17 pm said:

Methinks you might have touched a wee nerve with your countrywoman Tric there with the whole list malarkey. Funny, I also felt most inspired by the inanimate object I’m somewhat hostile towards (promise not to include Himself). Well since I’m off the blogging, I’m going to fill your comments with that very list. Here we go:-

1. Self-service checkouts – words fail me
2. My spectacles which keep disappearing of their own accord. It is a slanderous rumour that I once spent half an hour looking for them only to find them halfway down my nose.
3. Likewise my slippers. This new house is so warm that they keep dropping off my feet and scuttling under things.
4.Cobble stones – this damned city is full of them. I defy anyone to maintain grace and dignity while traversing a cobbled lane
5. My empty purse – I filled it up only yesterday for gawd’s sake.

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- Department of Speculation on January 17, 2017 at 8:37 pm said:
  
  *unauthorised item in comments section. please wait for member of staff*
  
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Tara Sparling on January 16, 2017 at 4:29 pm said:

I’ve a few. As you may imagine.

Things I should on no account allow to pass more than 2 seconds in my brain at 3am
People I should on no account allow to pass more than 2 seconds in my brain at 3am
Top ten children I’m glad aren’t mine
Aspirational ingredients in everyone’s kitchen which never get used
Complaints used as greetings by Irish people
Top 5 types of self-serving blog comments that only really want to divert traffic to their own blog

So there.

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- Department of Speculation on January 17, 2017 at 3:07 pm said:
  
  An exquisite list. If you do nothing more with it, you will have done enough. Morag, a gold-gilded frame there please.
  
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  - Tara Sparling on January 17, 2017 at 5:01 pm said:
    
    Ah shtop. It was nothing. Honest.
  - Department of Speculation on January 17, 2017 at 8:33 pm said:
    
    Not sure if you’re following Emer O’Toole’s new blog. If not, you have to check to this: https://emerotoole.com/2017/01/16/stuff-i-dont-like/ A kindred spirit for us glass-half-full people surely.
  - Tara Sparling on January 17, 2017 at 10:41 pm said:
    
    I love it. Didn’t know her at all actually. How have I missed such jaded wit? It’s like she’s been whispering into my ear while I’ve been asleep. Mmmmm. My favourite kind of creepy kindred spirit.
  - Department of Speculation on January 18, 2017 at 9:37 am said:
    
    We need to keep out allies close 🙂