*sound of footsteps legging it*
Use reader repellent post titles, obviously.
Have a gradual public breakdown, that’s not quite sure whether it’s an actual breakdown, or just one of one’s personae looking for a way out.
Periodically compose an irrational rant against Bono/parenting/Norn Iron.
Why use 10 words when 1,000 will do?
Only use questions rhetorically, OK? It breaks up the tedium.
Alienate yourself from your new or potential blogging mates by forgetting to do the small-talk and getting a bit too relaxed on the sofa of their comments section with your coat still on. Put your feet up too soon and on your head be those pursed lips. It’s OK, bumping into each other in a mutual blogger friend’s comment section loses its awkwardness after a while.
*re-reads last point* Don’t make an iota of sense if at all possible.
Forget any sort of theme, anyway.
Or having a name that conveys any meaning.
Actually, just the nine will do.