*sound of footsteps legging it*
Use reader repellent post titles, obviously.
Have a gradual public breakdown, that’s not quite sure whether it’s an actual breakdown, or just one of one’s personae looking for a way out.
Periodically compose an irrational rant against Bono/parenting/Norn Iron.
Why use 10 words when 1,000 will do?
Only use questions rhetorically, OK? It breaks up the tedium.
Alienate yourself from your new or potential blogging mates by forgetting to do the small-talk and getting a bit too relaxed on the sofa of their comments section with your coat still on. Put your feet up too soon and on your head be those pursed lips. It’s OK, bumping into each other in a mutual blogger friend’s comment section loses its awkwardness after a while.
*re-reads last point* Don’t make an iota of sense if at all possible.
Forget any sort of theme, anyway.
Or having a name that conveys any meaning.
*echo*
Actually, just the nine will do.
🙂
department of speculation 
Or gain followers by being different, unpredictable, honest, engaging,interesting and always highly entertaining. Also your own reasons are also why I’m here. Refreshing and never ever boring. Aw must be still some alcohol in my system from last night!
Ach tric *wells up* c’mere til I lick your face. Hmmm.
Number 10: threaten to lick your readers’ faces.
Runs for the hills.
Guess who was on the sauce last night 🙂
On the flip side, Charlie Sheen did OK gaining a Legion of new followers with his public melt down! Nowhere near as exciting now I’m sad to say 🙂
Turning middle-age affects us all differently. Personally, I find externalising personal thoughts publically and the prospect of staying up till midnight fairly exhilarating.
There was a meltdown?? What?? I missed it! Do I get Observer of the Year Award?
Congratulations, Tara! I can’t decide if I’m a credit or a shame to the social movement of melt-downs. But having just visited the Irish Times’ website, I’m back on the brink. Yay.
Oh God. You didn’t look at the comments did you. Say you didn’t look at the comments.
Worse than that, Tara *rocks in corner* Morag, bring me the solapadeine and some Ribena. Yes, of course together.