There’s a woman who’s been trying to get up since dawn, to get the wreckage into gear, and dash, and spend, and pray she has enough petrol.

A woman who works all day and returns home to put in another shift by the fridge. And that takes the time to read the latest dubious story linking ISIS membership with wayward teenagers whose mothers work outside the home; or half half (OK, quarter) listen to yours.

There is a woman who will sit up all night with a Netflix series, and will not rest until the finale is over; who hides at the school gates rain, hail or shine; who feeds her pet hates;  makes the bed just before getting into it, puts the candid feelings into cake, and makes your wishes up for you. You’re a bank manger! You have the power to let me borrow all your birthday money!


Yes! Found the Green & Black’s

There’s a woman who spends all her time, all her money, all her love, on the things and the people that matter. Like coffee, and toilet paper, and overdue Xtravision fees.

And through every hour, she will always be fed the feeling that she should feel she is not giving enough, not doing enough, not consuming enough.

Mothers, you do enough to put up with this insufferable bullshit. Now let us do something for you. Like stopping the exploitation of your bankrupt consumerist vulnerabilities, and the relentless rampant rifling of human emotion to sell you something else.

Mothers, you’re amazing…ly gullible if you fall for it.

FauxHealth: My cover. My arse.


10 thoughts on “FauxHealth

      • Me too!!! And there’s that awkward bit of getting to know New People and having to work out how long you can wait before you swear in their company. One of my colleagues has become my Special Favourite because she lets me rant and swear in her car 🙂

      • Fuck yeah! (and then it morphed into a fucker of a week and the swearing intensified). Swearing is a reliable measure of character. It’s almost also an indicator they have the measure of management.

  1. Oh perfect – that’s just perfect! I’m a sucker for sentimental ads but I came out the other end of that one with my cynicism intact. My kids on the other hand, loved it. And patted me on the back.

    • Heh. Now, that’s what I like to hear. Every opportunistic cloud etc. I hope you dutifully lapped it up. It is rather seductive, isn’t it? I was half taken in, wondering if it was a party political broadcast. I was almost feeling sorry for Dads when I copped the makers were on a guilt-tripping hunt. Busted! We’re THAT amazing.

  2. I haven’t seen this ad – probably just as well. When the Kid and I are watching TV I often use it as an excuse as to validate my existence by asking him am I like that Perfect Mum? I love to see his look of rising panic as he tries to work out what the right answer is – he’s keen on being honest.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s