The writing is small and more curved and often illegible, even to the author. Paragraphs frequently begin here.
Instead of down here.
Sometimesthewordsaresorapidthere’snocomingupforair
AND TOO OFTEN THE CAPS LOCK IS LEFT ON UNNECESSARILY WHEN
Making a point quietly would be a more effective way of being heard
Especially when it comes to discussing matters that are not so black or white
Shhh *index finger up to lips*
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That sort of silence is grand for those posts that require some
But background ♫♫ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♫♫♫ ♪ ♫ ♬ is always preferable. (Name that tune for a bonus prize)
Centred, I am not
And I usually
take the
scenic route
to what it is I want to say. Like I do here.
Or here.
Or here.
Or here.
Using numbers to make a point could possibly help because:
- It allows people to use their fingers to demonstrate their counting skills, usually beginning with their thumb
- It helps set them up to slip in a third point even when it’s not required because if it were to end on 2. it would be an anti-climax, and 3 is the accepted norm. And
- (generally the middle finger, coincidentally) It gives a person three opportunities to reinforce how annoying they are (trails off in self-satisfied tone)
Bullet points are for
- shopping lists
- work tasks
- packing inventories
- Christmas present lists
- fantasy luxury items
- the pros and cons of everything
- use alongside asterisks to denote special priority status on any item from the aforementioned lists
An asterisk AND a bullet point means it’s fairly urgent.
A little Δ next to a • next to a * indicates serious procrastination. If it reaches the inclusion of a #, then a financial penalty is inevitable.
The compulsion to admit any of this and other random thoughts publicly cannot be filed away under lifestyle. A pathology, maybe. Or a mild form of psychosis, if combined with the urge to take a home-cooked marshmallow encrusted kipper to the term ‘lifestyle’ and beat it to a pulp before reversing over it in a specially imported Trabant.
The reasons are simple.
- *sticks out thumb* It’s one of those bland terms that smears beige all over the world
- It’s the first cousin of work-life balance, working mother guilt, and other dumbed down aspects of life that are sanitised and saddled on us by well-dressed media types who confuse glossy publishing for a public service
- It’s a compound word and they’re dangerous. Like pro-life, anti-austerity, and Stephen-fry.
A lifestyle choice
Stephen-fry is now officially my favouritest compound word ever. Thank you.
Please use it sparingly, or sparlingly in your case.
You are on FIRE! Way to go Tenderness, you set the bar way up there!
Are you a teeny weeny bit bored??? I do like the concrete poetry bit. And your insightful observation of how one starts finger counting with the thumb – and it’s not even a proper finger!!!!!
I’m deadly serious, birdie. Especially about the trabant. Seriousness is a lifestyle choice. Probably.
What about grumpiness, is that a lifestyle choice? It’s definitely today’s choice of mood for me.
Let’s see, I’ll have a look through the catalogue *runs fingers down* yep! in between gherkin growing, and grunge. Thursday blues?
Lifestyle is right up there with ‘journey’.
As for all the typing this figures strongly in my text, o4;;pe jpe str upi
as I type watching rubbish on TV.
Fark yeah! Journey is either a US 70s rawk band that sound-tracked Tony Soprano’s likely demise, or the distance between a wedding ceremony and reception that everyone moans about.