In real life

The writing is small and more curved and often illegible, even to the author. Paragraphs frequently begin here.

Instead of down here.



Making a point quietly would be a more effective way of being heard

Especially when it comes to discussing matters that are not so black or white

Shhh *index finger up to lips*













That sort of silence is grand for those posts that require some Pondering

But background ♫♫ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♫♫♫ ♪ ♫ ♬ is always preferable. (Name that tune for a bonus prize)

Centred, I am not

And I usually

 take the

scenic route

to what it is I want to say. Like I do here.

Or here.

Or here.

Or here.

Using numbers to make a point could possibly help because:

  1. It allows people to use their fingers to demonstrate their counting skills, usually beginning with their thumb
  2. It helps set them up to slip in a third point even when it’s not required because if it were to end on 2. it would be an anti-climax, and 3 is the accepted norm. And
  3. (generally the middle finger, coincidentally) It gives a person three opportunities to reinforce how annoying they are (trails off in self-satisfied tone)

Bullet points are for

  • shopping lists
  • work tasks
  • packing inventories
  • Christmas present lists
  • fantasy luxury items
  • the pros and cons of everything
  • use alongside asterisks to denote special priority status on any item from the aforementioned lists

An asterisk AND a bullet point means it’s fairly urgent.

A little Δ next to a  next to a * indicates serious procrastination. If it reaches the inclusion of a #, then a financial penalty is inevitable.

The compulsion to admit any of this and other random thoughts publicly cannot be filed away under lifestyle. A pathology, maybe. Or a mild form of psychosis, if combined with the urge to take a home-cooked marshmallow encrusted kipper to the term ‘lifestyle’ and beat it to a pulp before reversing over it in a specially imported Trabant.

The reasons are simple.

  1. *sticks out thumb* It’s one of those bland terms that smears beige all over the world
  2. It’s the first cousin of work-life balance, working mother guilt, and other dumbed down aspects of life that are sanitised and saddled on us by well-dressed media types who confuse glossy publishing for a public service
  3. It’s a compound word and they’re dangerous. Like pro-life, anti-austerity, and Stephen-fry.


A lifestyle choice

9 thoughts on “In real life

  1. Are you a teeny weeny bit bored??? I do like the concrete poetry bit. And your insightful observation of how one starts finger counting with the thumb – and it’s not even a proper finger!!!!!

  2. Lifestyle is right up there with ‘journey’.
    As for all the typing this figures strongly in my text, o4;;pe jpe str upi
    as I type watching rubbish on TV.

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