By the hue of the sky and the chime of the off-licence door-bell, it must be that time of year again: The Leaving Cert.
I would love to impart some sage words of advice to you youngsters not reading this, fleshed out with a combination of nostalgia and a few keen insights unleashed with age; perhaps a wise quote thrown in for good tradition.
Truth is, I just wanted to say the word photosynthesis; it’s one of my favourite words of all time. It might even make the top 5. Up there with zupy (Polish for soup), possibly. Like most topics contained in my Leaving Cert exams (complex numbers, Peig, lifecycle of the liver fluke, oxbow lakes, Irish), I’ve never had to apply it to life, so I’m forced to engineer opportunities to slip in a few favourites here and there to impress my peers. Or rely on it to get me out of a few hairy corners, or dig me into a deeper hole.
Take that bloke I was mad keen on a few years back. We’re strolling through a city park with an allotment scheme. Unbeknownst to him, we’re romantically involved. I’m giving him the full Thunderbirds-on-speed treatment with my head-nodding in response to his thoughtful opinion on bio-cultures. He hits a crescendo with his Mary Robinson Claw™, then it’s over to me. And out it bursts without a second’s hesitation…”photosynthesis!!!”.
Thanks to my old alma mater, and MrsG specifically, for preparing me for survival of the weakest.
“When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom”