Battery left on this device
The result of a secondary school maths exam I managed to change to 44 before the relos got their mitts on the report card
Level of interest in getting off my arse this evening to attend a surprise 40th
Level of surprise the person celebrating will likely experience on being surprised
Chance of me adding an exclamation mark to the end of the last sentence
Average satisfaction with this post
department of speculation 
Oooh dear. Funny though this is, I sense a malaise. Must be cos you’re in the huff with me because I haven’t posted the Bloody News yet and you’ve gone into a deep decline of thinking that I don’t care anymore. Chance of me posting tonight with over use of capital letters and exclamation marks – 41% :-)))))
Precisely, birdie. Have you got a black pen I could borrow?
Thanks
*changes 4 to slightly untidy 8*
If I don’t post tonight, will you come after with me with said pen to see if it is mightier than the sword?? I hear that Paperchase pens can give a particularly nasty poke š
Not if you give me a sneak preview with an emoticon to convey the overall vibe of The News. Capital letters SCARE ME.
Well, yes, a WHOLE word in capital letters is rather loud. But I like the affectation of emphasising some words with capital letters. Perhaps I picked it up from Winnie-the-Pooh…. So are you Pretending To Work as well???
I like the affectation too. Pretending??? (Multiple question marks also effective)
Also the ponderous….
You should have had a ‘Moi’ before those ??? Right. Seeing as you’re back, I’m off to type a Proper Thing….
Thought you might like to know I have definitely written at least 41% of The Post. And I will definitely publish it tomorrow, well actually it’s today now. I said DEFINITELY. Jeez. Take the cheese out of your ears. š
Oh, a suitable emoticon….to be looked at sideways
% – }
You’ve had plastic surgery?
And a title…… Cows don’t talk
I would it write it now because my 1:30 has cancelled…..but I really ought to work….oooo I’m such a tease š
Well, wait’ll this for a story….
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I enjoyed this a lot more than 14%, except that it was too short. It left me wanting to hear more about the riveting surprise party. Still, consistent polling shows that when forced to choose between reading a lifestyle blog* or a personal blog like yours, I’d be more likely to choose your kind of blog 100% of the time.
*(I’ve just read your recent post about the Ireland Blog Awards. I don’t even know if Australia has Blog awards, that’s how far out of the loop of PR-style blogging I am!)
The party was held in a ramshackle pub in the back of beyond. I was gonna say the outback, but you’ve copyrighted that concept. What looked liked your typical bingo evening down the community hall transformed into a Thin Lizzy/ZZ Top tribute evening at top tonsil. Our jaws bounced off the floor. People left with 14% of the hearing they had going on, but with 114% more to add to their usual Sunday lunch conversation. You should’ve been there, you’ve have loved it. (And how kind are you to plump with the personals. I hereby award you the winner of my inaugural ‘best international followers with a sound taste in music and sense of humour award’. The most coveted one of all)