As anti-Black Friday fever sweeps across the nation, threatening to destabilise the parish of Cardinal Joe Duffy, and provoke Matt Cooper into knocking himself out with his own mock incredulity, let’s take a moment to consider some other dodgy American imports to our land. Begorrah.
- Ambitious women
I can’t remember when it happened exactly. It possibly coincided with the arrival of cappuccinos and those 20 ft inflatable Santas people erect on their gable walls at Christmas. With a straight face. Until then, Irish women were either teachers or volunteers with Saint Vincent de Paul, depending on their age. Now they’re nobody unless they’re doing both and holding down a job, sorry, a career, that involves trips to a board-room in heels to lean in to (unless they’re expressing) while writing about how empowering it is at precisely the same time. Won’t somebody please think of the dinner? Oh wait, they’ve done that, too.
2. Westboro Baptist Church
I must choose my words carefully here, otherwise WordPress will spinelessly cough up hefty hush money once it’s slapped with a solicitor’s letter threatening legal action over my apparent defaming of president of its Irish wing, Breda O’Brien. Ah fuck it, what do I care. This is the internet after all. Here goes..
ALL PUBLIC OPINION IS SUBJECT TO A GOOD KICKING, BREDA!
P.S. Pray for me.
Coming over here and taking our
leafy suburbs working class streets for his inspiration.
I’m not saying we’ve anything against white middle-class singers coming over here and taking our inspiration but…
Taking our humble spud, chopping it up and sticking it in the fryer, smothering it with taco sauce and placing them next to a double cheese burger and a gallon of coke. It’s enough to.. *crushed in stampede*
Would you like some self-control with that?
Sobriety. Cutlery. Talking.
Bring back that most reliable of mating klaxons: The National Anthem.
Yeah, I know this is more than 5. I was never any good at math. Which reminds me..
Grand. Ach alright.
Where exactly on this spectrum should we suppose this fits?
Awesome me star spangled arse.