1. Debbie Harry is coming 70
Just keep wearing the shades, girls (and other habits your gene pool may sabotage anyway)
2. Being awakened by my own snoring
Who knew? Nature’s latest piss-take. The one they don’t tell you about along with the bullet-proof nipple hair and the lingering broodiness in your 40s.
3. Two people with ginger hair romantically involved
A first. You won’t think it’s weird until you see it. Wait until it happens to you and you’ll be aghast. I never get to say aghast often enough so I’m just throwing it in here. Nothing personal, good folk with ginger hair. I used to kinda be one. Let’s say I’m 37 per cent ginger. Well, was, until nature gunned me down with grey spray pellets as I legged it through the jungle of vanity.
4. People stampeding to check out the leaked naked pics of Jennifer Lawrence
Surprise!
5. My daughter correcting me referring to the local church as the castle from Frozen. It’s “God’s house ” . Allegedly.
Another adulthood shattered.
department of speculation 
Laughed at no 2! Been there.
I was freaked out this week by hearing that Lady Di was 36 when she died. I always thought she looked great for an aul wan. I’m not far off that age now.
Great call. I was just thinking that the other day… as I realised I’ve long surpassed her. It’s like when I used to think all my teachers were ancient, and turns out they were only the length of secondary school ahead of me. Still. Aul ones nonetheless.
Haha. Yeah, sometimes I see the teachers who taught me and think ‘she must be one hundred years old by now’ but’….but no, they just appeared old when I was young.
They conformed so rapidly it gave them an aged complexion.
I know. We’re the sad aul ones that we used to pity.