Top five things that have freaked me out this week already

1. Debbie Harry is coming 70

Just keep wearing the shades, girls (and other habits your gene pool may sabotage anyway)

2. Being awakened by my own snoring

Who knew? Nature’s latest piss-take. The one they don’t tell you about along with the bullet-proof nipple hair and the lingering broodiness in your 40s.

3. Two people with ginger hair romantically involved

A first. You won’t think it’s weird until you see it. Wait until it happens to you and you’ll be aghast. I never get to say aghast often enough so I’m just throwing it in here. Nothing personal, good folk with ginger hair. I used to kinda be one. Let’s say I’m 37 per cent ginger. Well, was, until nature gunned me down with grey spray pellets as I legged it through the jungle of vanity. 

4. People stampeding to check out the leaked naked pics of Jennifer Lawrence

Surprise!

5. My daughter correcting me referring to the local church as the castle from Frozen. It’s “God’s house ” . Allegedly.

Another adulthood shattered.

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