The dingo took my baby

My car has broken down

I ran out of petrol

I’m locked in the house and can’t find a key for the windows

I’ve lost my car key

My child-minder is sick

I was visiting my parents who like to economise on basic needs and got frost bite

I got sun stroke

It’s a personal matter

It’s too embarrassing

Women’s problems

*crams dry cream cracker into mouth* Really sore throat

(4pm) I’ve just realised it’s Monday, I thought it was Sunday

Sorry I’m four hours late, I thought today was a bank holiday

I fell asleep on the bus and ended up in Cavan bus station overnight

I won last minute tickets for Glastonbury

Sorry I’m a bit late, traffic’s shit.


7 thoughts on “The dingo took my baby

  1. Homosexuality was classified as an illness in Sweden in 1979, the Swedes were annoyed about it and in protest a lot of people phoned in sick saying they felt gay.

    After that homosexuality was declassified as an illness. Great excuse while it lasted though.

  2. “Can I leave early tomorrow because my wife has to go to Cork so I have to pick up the baby?”
    “Of course – oh, I meant to say, if people want to go early to watch the France match that’s fine”
    “Oh right, I eh totally didn’t know there was a match…ahem”
    (from today at work)

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