My car has broken down
I ran out of petrol
I’m locked in the house and can’t find a key for the windows
I’ve lost my car key
My child-minder is sick
I was visiting my parents who like to economise on basic needs and got frost bite
I got sun stroke
It’s a personal matter
It’s too embarrassing
Women’s problems
*crams dry cream cracker into mouth* Really sore throat
(4pm) I’ve just realised it’s Monday, I thought it was Sunday
Sorry I’m four hours late, I thought today was a bank holiday
I fell asleep on the bus and ended up in Cavan bus station overnight
I won last minute tickets for Glastonbury
Sorry I’m a bit late, traffic’s shit.
department of speculation 
Homosexuality was classified as an illness in Sweden in 1979, the Swedes were annoyed about it and in protest a lot of people phoned in sick saying they felt gay.
After that homosexuality was declassified as an illness. Great excuse while it lasted though.
Child porn was also legal there around then, too. Gotta love the Swedish.
Really? Bloody hell.
Sounds like “I was out last night!”
Take it you have form here, tric. That Sunday night/Monday morning anxiety rarely deserts me.
“Can I leave early tomorrow because my wife has to go to Cork so I have to pick up the baby?”
“Of course – oh, I meant to say, if people want to go early to watch the France match that’s fine”
“Oh right, I eh totally didn’t know there was a match…ahem”
(from today at work)
Haha busted! kinda